(32) Expectations.

When I first saw this, I didn't like it. I was thinking that it's very summer-y (if there is such a word). But when it was part of the sale, oh hell! P100 is really not wasting money. So, I expected that it will be nice.. or maybe hope?

When I got it already, I was disappointed coz it's very see through! Yeah, the white tube isn't included and I haven't thought about that. But when I tried to fit it last night, voila! It's magic. :) It fits me well and is very good for the summer! I'm excited to wear this on the beach! Though I wore it last night at the office already. Hahaha! And yeah, super see through! But damn, I feel sexy. :)

Anyhoo, the left picture is from the online FB account while on the left picture was me wearing it. And yes, I really did not include my face. Bleh :P

(31) Back with CTT Courses.

Yeah, after almost one month, I'm back! Did you miss me blog? :)

Me? I missed you. I missed sharing my everyday event with you.

And yeah, don't get jealous with my Starbucks planner because I wasn't able to fill up things with her as well. :(

Planners are not allowed inside our production floor at the office anymore. BOOO!!

Anyhoo, here's what I got for being back..

My CTT courses! I still don't have my planner, it's still not uploaded at *insert-the-name-of-my-employer-here* University.

And yeah, even though my boss already sent me the sample courses or what it looks like, non-sense. I tried searching for it at the catalog or web courses but it's not there. =|

After me getting excited to start my CTT courses!! :(

(28) Doll Shoes.

Mom's doll shoes that fits me. I used this before but unfortunately, after a day of using it, the design fell and Mom needed to have it glued. Thus her saying, "Wala talagang tumatagal na sapatos sa'yo." Hehe!

I don't know what's with my feet but any footwear really don't last. Maybe because of it's enormous size and it's bump? (Argh. Basta ung bukol sa gilid!!) Seriously, to tell you honestly, I don't like my feet. I hate it. That's one part of my body that I don't really like. It's big for a girl like me, size 9!, and it's thin.

I'm just thankful that R don't have foot fetish. And whenever I talk about it with him, he's always ready with an answer that my feet is not ugly and that he can even kiss it. LOL

As for the doll shoes, I wore it for 2 consecutive days already and I'm still waiting for the design to fall. :))

(27) Guarded

As I wait in line yesterday at the ATM, I saw this guard in front of me and can't help thinking on how hard is their job. How hard is it to stand up whole day and greet everybody that will enter the establishment? How tiring is it to keep on smiling or greeting just to make others feel that you're friendly? How hard it is to be always alert for any disturbance that might happen around their vicinity? I feel like interviewing a guard and asking them things I wanna ask. :)

And yeah, I missed the guards at work. :( Since I started working, they are the guards I've been seeing ever since. Since I was on training, production, when I was an agent, RTA and now, they were not able to see me as a CTT. :( It's like they are part of your family already but unfortunately, they need to go. :( I really don't know what's the correct or true side of the story. I just now two story:

(1) They loose the bid. The lowest bid goes to the agency (with the guards we have right now) who don't ask to be paid during the 31st of the month. So whenever there is 31st, they will be staying and reporting at work for free. (WHAT THE?!)

(2) Rudeness issue. Lerkei part. We do have rudeness issue on the production floor and until the guards area, we also have rudeness issue? And with all of the nice things that they've been doing, someone complained for rudeness?? OMG.

(26) Tempted.

Tuesday shift just ended and yet, I'm tempted already not to go to work and to go to Laguna. =s I'm too stressed right now. I have a lot of pending jobs to do. And.. I just wanna raise my hand and shout, "WAIT!!! GIVE CHANCE TO RUN!!!" That's why I always feel that I need to go to work even on weekends. It seems like my whole weekdays weren't enough to finish all of the things I need to do. :(

I've been telling to my officemates that I will be out the next day. And since I was tempted to say so, I cannot be absent. I cannot even afford to be late. I dunno. Maybe because I don't want my agents to see me with attendance issue so that they won't have a reason to be absent or late or what.

As much as my co-workmate teases me that I will just be "masipag" and all at the start but sooner or later, I will get lethargic as well, I wanna prove him/them wrong. Dora was able to show us that whether she was a tenured coach already, she still stays at work until wee hours of the shift. I still have high respect on her even though she's not with the company anymore. And I believe that I can also do what she can. Hell, she got married during that time and have a healthy love and sex life. Why can't I? I just need to have proper management. Please Lord, grant me that skill and/or attitude. T_T

(25) Overwhelmed.

Loving the huddle:) tnx coach..:) gudmorning

I don't know but maybe this is just the first time that I received this kind of post. It wasn't posted on my wall but of course, I'm her only coach. :) She's a newbie from my team and I guess she was happy with her first day on our team. I'm just glad. I just feel like, oh, that's one of the reason why I'm here. That even though I will always render OTTY, it's fine as long as I have agents who loves me and appreciates me. =D

Simple message, yeah. But it hit home. :")

(24) Wall Climbing!

R and I had our first wall climbing at Eco Park! Weeeeeee! It was fun but very scary! I was about to go first but I got wobbly knees that I asked R to go first. =s It was a 40-feet wall and R was able to reach around 20-feet! GOOD JOB! :)

Here's a picture of us while R was briefing me on what to do..

While as for me, I was still scary until it was my turn and while I'm doing it! I wasn't able to beat R with this. As much as I want to, it was really scary! =s And my feet are wet already that I feel like I'm gonna slip any moment. =s

Don't worry.. I'm not giving up! I'm gonna try this at Lucban, Quezon! I need to reach the top! =D

(23) Henna again!

I don't know. I think I'm getting addicted with this already. It's just some paint on your body for awhile, anyway.

This is my second henna. My first was at my right hand. Now, I choose to have it at my back. As I look into it now, I just noticed that I was wanting a flower with stars. But this one has few little stars on it. Nonetheless, I still like it. I'm already thinking on what to wear on Monday!

After having this done, R told me, "O, naaadik ka na ata sa henna ah. Baka sa susunod, malalaman ko na lang meron ka nang tattoo."

As of now, I don't think I'll be having one. I saw them having a permanent one and "namamaga" after they had it. It's also very itchy and it hurts a lot. Argh. I'm still thinking on when will I be brave to have one. Good luck with me! I need to think a lot when it comes to that since that would be permanent. =s

(22) La Mesa Eco Park.

Oh yes! Ang mga biglaan date talaga ang mga natutuloy. :) At imbes na kaming dalawa lang, nakasama pa namin ung ibang ahente ko. Super enjoyed!

*Tagalog trip*

Papasok pa lang sa lugar, namangha na ko. Dama ko na ang pagkakalikasan ng lugar. Langhap ko na rin ang malamig na simoy ng hangin. Tipong kahit anong taas at init ng haring araw ay hindi mo mararamdaman dahil malamig ang ihip ng hangin.. salamat

sa mga puno na tumatakip din sa araw!

Pagdating namin sa mismong lugar.. sobrang namangha na talaga ko. Ang ganda! Ang ganda tignan ng mga puno sa paligid. Nabanggit din ng isa sa mga kasama namin na isa sa mga lugar yun na pinagganapan ng Imortal ni Angel Locsin and John Lloyd. Naalala ko nga un! At naaliw naman ako.. bilang isang tagahanga ng palabas na yun. Hehe!

Naglibot-libot kami sa lugar. Ang maganda lalo sa lugar ay isang daan lang siya. Hindi siya ung tipo nang napuntahan namin na Avilon Zoo na pipili ka kung san ka patungo at pag dumaan ka doon, maaaring hindi mo na mapuntahan ung daan na hindi mo pinili.

May nadaanan kaming paliguan na hind gumagamit ng klorin bilang panglinis. Ang tanging gamit niya ay asin, parang sa dagat lang! Nakakaanyaya ang lugar at nakakadismaya sapagkat hindi kami naging handa. Hindi kami nakapagdala ng damit pampaligo.. sayang! Hindi ko pa nararanasan ang makaligo sa ganoong klase! Syempre, iba pa rin ung dagat kesa doon.

Onting lakad pa, nakita na namin ang hagdan ng mga bulaklak papuntang La Mesa Dam. Sabi nila, 100 hakbang pero nung binilang namin, hindi naman! At kahit anong init, hindi pa rin kami pinagpawisan ng sobra dahil sa lamig ng hangin. Nakakaaliw pa ang lugar dahil meron din doong hugas paru-paro na gawa sa bulaklak. :)

Pag lingon mula sa taas, sobrang mamamangha ka sa lugar. Ang ganda ng luntiang lugar na un!

Maya-maya pa ay may nakita kaming tao na nakasakay sa kabayo at lumilibot sa lugar. Sa totoo lang, hindi pa ko nakakaranas sumakay dito. Kaya ang ginawa namin, nagbayad ng 50 pesos para makapagkuha kami ng mga litrato habang nakasakay dito. Mura siya para sa ming lahat kasi nagpalitrato lang naman kami. Kung gusto lumibot habang nakasakay dito, parehas lang ang bayad pero syempre, mag-isa ka lang nakasakay. Sa susunod, pag nagkaroon ulit ng tyansa na mangyari un, susubukan ko talaga! Kahit papano, sapat na rin ung nakasakay na ko sa kanya. :)

Lakad pa uli hanggang makapasok kami sa maliit na kagubatan. Hindi namin alam kung san ang patungo. May nakita pa kaming puno na parang may pintuan papuntang ibang dimensyon. Haha! Hindi na namin sinubukan magpapicture at baka biglang may humatak sa amin.

Paglabas namin ng tinatawag na "foot trail", naghanap kami ng mabibilhan ng inumin. Tumingin sa mga malaking isda. Nagliwaliw sa damuhan at nagpakuha ng litrato. Maraming salamat Haring Araw, sobrang liwanag ng litrato namin!

Umakyat kami sa palaruan ngunit madaming batang naglalaro. Syempre, hindi na kami nakiagaw. Ang pananghalian namin ay noodles. Unang beses ko makakain ng fried noodles! At nasarapan naman ako.. mabuti na lang! :) Nag-chismisan habang kumakain.

Onting lakad pa palabas, napagdesisyunan naming magpa-henna. Tapos hinanap kung saan pwede mamangka ngunit kasalukuyan siyang inaayos. :( Onting tawid at nakita na namin ang lugar kung saan pwede maglaro.. At oo, unang beses namin ni R mag-"wall climbing"!

-Tapos-

(21) The Biglaan Date.

The week that I had was very toxic. I never felt this toxic thing when I was "the" RTA. But as a coach, oh well, what did I expect?

I've been feeling a lot of discomfort when it comes to my relationship with R. There's trust, love and everything else. But I lack confident that he won't leave me because I don't have time. :(

Luckily, my boyfriend asked me if we can have a date by Saturday. He wanted to go watch a movie, go somewhere than staying at our place with us sleeping beside each other. I was even kidding him that he don't have money anymore for whatever date that we can have and he said that he'll be spending our budget for the National Geographic Fun Run. On my end, it's fine if we won't push through with the fun run and I'm also thinking that we can still register until next week, and I'll have money by then so.. sure! I badly need some fresh air. As much as I love my work, I need to go out and not think about it.

I dunno how we ended up with the decision but.. we choose going to La Mesa Eco Park. :)

I really appreciated the effort that my boyfriend did. I appreciate his understanding. I appreciate that he wasn't thinking at the bad side and rather think of ways on how we can still enjoy and have time with each other. Wow.

(20) Time, time and time.

For the past few days, all that I've think of was about time.

What if I wasn't at work during the wee hour of the morning?

What if I was at home bonding with my balikbayan relatives who will be coming back in Canada after 2 weeks?

What if I was at my room, cleaning it or giving myself more me time?

What if I was on my bed, texting with R and saying sweet nothings?

What if? What if?

But.. my career go first as of the moment. I'm just new. I need to work a lot in order for me to achieve what I want to achieve. If I have a lot of money already, I guess, I'll find time to be with people that I need to be with. As of now, I need to stop bothering myself that much.

Heads up, no regrets.

(19) CONFIRMED!!

Finally, it's official! I'm already a Coach Track Trainee! WEEEEEEEEEEEE! Thank God! :)

Coach Track Trainee on our company means you have passed to become a trainee already until you become a coach. It usually takes 6 months for you to become a coach and of course, there will be a lot of things and training to do. We also have finals by the end of the training to gauge if we can do full-time coach task already. :) On my end, I believe that I still have a lot to improve even though I'm already handling a team. I'm still having problems handling particular people.. but I'm improving, I guess. Everyday, I tend to think of the things that happened at work and what I could have done vs what I did.

And just like my henna here, time's fading away. My henna will be 2-week old by Sunday. According to the tattoo/henna artist, this will last for 2 weeks to 2 months. I'm still guessing on until when. :) And yes, just like my henna, there goes my time! Monday shift was a very toxic day. I was at work 8:30 PM - 10AM! Whoa! And then yesterday, I was at work 10PM - 10AM! I'm still adjusting. Or maybe I just really have a lot of things to do. Time Management has always been an area of opportunity for me. =s I wanna be expert on that field already! Because as much as R understand that I'm busy with my work, and not somebody else, he do misses me and I feel the same way. :( We're loosing time with each other already. Or maybe, I'm loosing much time already with him. :( But, promise, I'm still reserving my weekends for him. :) And hey, I'm doing this for our future! That's why I really believe that he do understand me. Haaayyy.. Please, don't let R loose his way. I'm getting scared, eh?

(18) Php370

I have the exact amount on my wallet.. and that should go all the way until Friday.. or salary day which is on Monday. As for today, I guess I had 400 bucks and some coins. I asked one of my agent to buy cartolinas and that cost me 30 bucks. And then, aside from that, my money was well spent with my transportation fee which is a total of 33 bucks. Wow! I can live for 50php a day! Let's see until Friday. Hmm..

What I just really did was to eat dinner at home before going to work. I also did not hail a cab but rode a bus on the way to work since my schedule was change from 12mn to 10pm. :) Then, since we had our Weekly Business Review awhile ago, it lasted for almost 5 hours! We ended the session at 4am. Good thing was, it's one of our agent's birthday and she bought some pansit. Yummmmy! ^^ Then, since I brought 2 pancit canton, I ended up eating that after my actual shift, 7am, before going back to work. O_o

Let's see what I can do tomorrow. Let's think positive!!

(17) Sagada.

Since my workmate was from Sagada, and there's no pic posted yet from her/him/it, I looked for one in Google.

I envy here. I wanted to go there as well! I wanna see those hanging coffins! And they said, it's the heaven in the north. Whew!

And yeah, I forgot to tell you, some of my workmates as well are at Hongkong. They were at Disneyland last Friday, I guess. Or was it Saturday? End point was.. I really envy them! :(

Now I'm looking forward going to Lucban next month! I just hope we'll be able to go to Kamay ni Hesus. I want to buy some time!!

Saw Jesus at the left most part of the picture? That's how far you need to go to meet Him.. and I want to be able to! Since we'll be going near that place! :)

(16) Work on a Sunday.

Too bored to stay at home.

Too much work from a toxic week last week and the upcoming week.

Too toxic. I was caught saying to myself, "What am I doing here?" or something like, "Ano ba `tong napasok ko?" O_o

Ever since I was done with my Behavioral Interview, I don't have any other excuses but to do what I gotta do.

No more, "I'm an RTA, I'm not a coach!" coz since that fateful day, I was bound to do coach's task.

I'm grateful really, but wait for me! I haven't catch up yet. =(

As for my Sunday night, I ended up going to work to do some of my jobs.

Twas hard working with no printer. Too many pending jobs and documents to print!

And yeah, unlucky, Facilities don't have ink anymore. =(

Boss, give me time. Don't get angry at me later.

Please try to understand.

As much as I know you have high expectations with me..

I'm not perfect. =s

(14) Hatid.

I guess I'm too much of a flirt already. But I just wanna know how does it feel if he'll send me to Greenhills. I don't know if I told you about Air sending me to Greenhills before.. and asking me if he can go to work tomorrow so that he'll send me home. Anyhoo, that deserves another entry in case I wasn't able to write about it.

Let's get to the point.. I allowed him to send me to Greenhills. We were talking but we weren't really close. He didn't try to and I didn't try to as well. Just in case, I won't allow him. That's just what I want. Maybe I just wanna know if he can really do it.

Y'know, he do know that I have a boyfriend. He do know that I won't break up with R. And y'know what? He doesn't want to be my second boyfriend if it was ever an option. Of course, I did not tell him about that option. I don't want to. It's just that, he was teasing me on getting a second boyfriend so that I'll know how it feels. But I guess I'm too tired with that already. As what I've been telling R, I'm done playing games when it comes to lovelife. I was able to search for him, or maybe he found me, and I'm good with that already. I'm very much contented. :")

(15) Graduate.

Finally, my cousin graduated already! Actually, it was her clinical graduation. As for academics, it will be on Friday or Saturday, I guess. And yes, my dear boyfriend got jealous again. Hehe! It's the time of the month, y'know. If I do have PMS as the time of the month, his is different. It's about the marching time. Oh! Maybe that's why it's held during March.. marching.. noh? :P

(13) FB Chat.

It's been a week.. that I've been looking forward going home to chat with him. I know for myself that I'm not cheating R. I'm waiting for Bleach to message me and I'm not the one initiating. I guess I'm just enjoying his company. But believe me, that's just it. And I guess, I've proven myself strong enough already. My friends were kidding me that I taste the guy, like yeah, have sex with him. But I don't want to. Any contact, I don't want to. All I can do is talk with him, that's just it. And the other day, he was teasing me when I wished him good luck. He asked for a kiss so I just said, here, kiss emoticon :*. And then he said that he wants something for real, then I told him, "No. Ayaw." Even though I can just flirt all the way since I know for myself it won't happen, I don't want him to think that I'll allow him to do so if ever. I made a promise with R. He'll be mine as long as I'm his. I still want the same thing. I still want R. I don't want anybody else to own him. Grrr. X( :P

(12) Bonding

Since my aunt is here, everyday that I was from work, I go to their place first. As for last Wednesday, (this blog was due that day), my aunties, lola and the neighborhood are making chika. Look how time flies, 5 years, but it felt like nothing happened. :)

(11) My Aunt.

After 5 years...

I'm so glad to see Tita at home.. again! :) I'm happy as well for my dear cousin coz her whole family is here for her upcoming clinical (?) graduation this coming 19. Weeeee! She's so blessed. And we are as well! Coz after 5 years, Tita was able to come back here. Oh, I really missed her!

I remember looking up to her.. wanting her to be my mother.. coz she's always there. My mom was always in the office for my future. I was close-minded then. But now, I'm thankful having my mom.. and still, I love my aunt. ;)