Wearing the Pants

According to the Urban Dictionary, "wearing the pants" refers to the more dominant person in a relationship and one who showers their boyfriend with more love than the he could ever even begin to imagine bestowing upon her. And wearing the pants has absolutely NOTHING to do with the actual size of the pants being worn.

It's like you are the girl and most of the time, you are the one who decides about your relationship. You are the one who picks where you will go, eat or what will you do. Some guys will be saying that they are only spoiling their girls but some of them don't really know how to decide that's why they just pass the role to the girls.

Some girls will feel that they are actually strong because they are the one dominating the relationship. They will feel that they can handle it and their respective partners are actually the one who is "under". But as time pass by, I know girls will be tired of this set up. Girls will remember their role and what they deserve. Girls should still be treated as girls or as a woman. No girl will ever say that she don't want to be treated as one.

Personally, I am use to wearing the pants in a relationship. I do believe that I have a domineering personality that some might think that I'm overconfident. I love deciding when it comes to relationship but then again, I know how to get tired.

I am great playing the role of a man because on my end, I know what a girl or a person really wants. Actually, the only tip for that is, "do the things that you want him to do for you". If you want to receive something, give something. It's a give and take relationship anyway. Men are just naive, most of the time, to think of that way.

Oh well, I'm just talking about this because sometimes, I am really tired of doing all the things in a relationship. Sometimes, I just want to stop making efforts and just wait and see on what will happen. But then, I'm also scared of what will happen. What if he will not do anything about it? What if he will just let me and he will not notice about it?

If I stopped caring, giving attention, showering you with praises and gifts, will you ever notice?

Late Post: April 10

It's already 9:53 in the morning and I still have no plans of sleeping.. yet. I arrived from work around 8AM and was trying to call him but he's still sleeping. Not much of a big deal.. I just want to hear his voice.. and so I thought.

I don't have a voice as of the moment. Actually, starting last night once I woke up. Not bothered that much because I do know that I have a male voice everytime I woke up so I thought it was normal. Until I'm already at work and my voice is still as low as a male. Darn. My voice makes me money therefore, it is precious. Don't get me wrong. I am no singer. I just really need my voice with my work. Haha!

We were eating "lunch" around 3 in the morning and talking about some stuffs when I felt something between my pants. And there you go, I just blurted out, "Oh my. I think I have my period. I can feel it flowing." Hahaha! What a mouth. =)) So after eating, I went to the other pantry to buy a napkin and there, I really got my period.

Good news or bad news? It's not yet the 14th and I'm not yet expecting it. I was not prepared at the moment but at least, I still got my period. Haha! Something fishy going on? Definitely. :P


Current status: Too lazy to sleep. Misses him badly -- or let's say, CRAVES FOR HIM. Still got my period and experiencing stomach pains. Don't want to go to work later! ARGH.

Random in AM

Being the first means a lot and you can’t just erase that fact. He will always be special to me. But that’s just it. Or that’s just what I want him to be.

**

She’s still pretty as ever. We still care for each other. But that’s just it. I won’t let her to get into my nerves again.

**

I am still craving for Black Forest! I want an



Apple iPhone,

PSP (slim!)

and an iPod vid.


And hey, I still want a Portable DVD.


Grrrr. How I love to buy gadgets. But I can still stop myself from doing so. I should not be spending my money to things I don’t really need.

**

I want to be shower with gifts! Who doesn’t anyway? You should not have asked me if I still want “Tiny” because I still do. I just put it at the back of my mind but I still do want that. Ahaha. I want Tiny with a bouquet of flowers!



Bwahaha. Demanding, eh? But I won’t be expecting. You’re not the type anyway. =P

**

I want to marry you NOW. I want to be with you. I want to spend my nights with you. But that’s a crazy thing to do. We’re still young. Ahaha! And I am not yet ready… financially. Or rather, it’s you that is not yet ready. I want to live a luxurious life. Haha!

**

My confidence is leaving me. I have this feeling that I won’t pass as a coach. I won’t pass my interview or people will still think that I am not yet ready even though I really want to try it. I still don’t know on what I really want in my career life. There are times that I think I can be in the company for as long as I can but then, there are times that I really want to teach but I don’t want to study. Bwahaha.

**

There are times that I think that you don’t deserve me. Times that I think I’m just the one making all of the efforts. But then I can see myself wrong because you are doing what you can… simple things but it really matters. I just don’t want to see it that way. How to learn to expect a little? Or never to expect? Darn.

She’s still pretty as ever… *sigh*

May 11, 2009
3:48 AM

I was browsing the internet awhile ago when the connection was disconnected. So I just decided to clean my desktop for there are so many notepads, documents and songs scattering around. I changed my wallpaper to a picture of my hubby and then, I noticed the “JKDS” folder. Of course, I do know whose folder is that… my beloved past. Ahaha. Noticed how I used the word “beloved”? Lol.

I was browsing her folder out of curiosity. It was actually from her phone’s memory card. And yes, I was able to find so many pictures. What do you expect from a camwhore like her? Ahaha. And hey, we also have some pictures there. I never thought that she will still keep it. Am I touched? Yeah right. Haha! So, I was just browsing the pictures when I can’t help but say, “She’s still pretty as ever”. Oh well, she’s really beautiful even before. She looks mature now because of the make up that she usually puts on but with or without, she’s still pretty. Ohh-kayyy, lesbo mode? Ahaha.

Just can’t help but miss her. Or let’s say… the way we were before. I never regretted that I had her and vice versa. I never regretted what we had. But I won’t be trading anything just to get that again. Anyways, I still have her. But of course, we are just plain best friends right now. I know and feel that there are still connections between us and there are still possibilities. But then… oh hell. What am I thinking? I’m letting her to get into my nerves again. Grrrrr.

Oh hubby, forgive me if I am weak… if I was weak. X_x But I do love you. I really really do. There are just moments that I can’t help but to go back to that past. Reminisce about it and remember again how hurt was I. And yeah, it’s like I’m hurting myself again for thinking about it. I don’t know with myself. Maybe it’s my period that makes me so sensitive like this. But…. *sigh*. Just always remember that I love you… and you’re the one that I love now.