6th month?

Oh yeah, it was our 6th monthsary yesterday. But guess what? I did not feel it that much. *sigh* Maybe because I ended up sleeping the day before that feeling disappointed. :(

I don't know. I do love him. REALLY. I can feel that and I do know that he can feel that. But sometimes, I feel that it's a one-way relationship. Or maybe, we have a different understanding about "relationship". :( *sigh* We never had trust issues. I believe that he can't cheat on me and he do trust me with that one also. If I ever wanted to cheat on him, I should have done it before. But I really cannot. Hey, I do know how to be faithful and loyal. :P

If ever that we will be breaking up, I was thinking that maybe, it will be because of our differences. Or because of this thing that I usually have issue with. Sometimes, I feel so drain that I am the only one giving and not being able to receive any. Okay, just to clear that, I am not giving anything so that I can receive. It's just that, to be fair. I'm just hoping that maybe, he can just reciprocate the love that I am showing him. *sigh* Am I expecting too much? But hey, I am not actually expecting. I am only hoping.. that maybe, just maybe, he can make me feel more special.. especially during our special day.

Speaking of that special day, it actually embarks as a change in our relationship. After six months of being together, the next six months would be effing changes for us. His parents will be coming later, and yeah, will be staying until December -- our anniversary. So, I am expecting a lot of change will happen within the next day.

Actually, I don't know what to feel right now. Psh. I STILL don't know how to react. Maybe, I'm just making this an effing big issue between us. And he don't even know what I'm feeling right now. :(

WHATEVS. I QUIT. I GIVE UP.