TMI: Lay Bare

I want to try this! Argh. But I'm.. scared?

My workmates and I will be going to Batangas this coming Saturday to go for a swim! I'm excited.. even thought it's a beach that we'll be going to. I'm not a fan of beaches, you know. I'd rather be on a pool. Maybe because I'm not a good swimmer, I only know the basics!, and maybe because there aren't much of good memories when you go to beaches. I experienced having sands all over my swimsuit whenever we go to the beach. Or, I will accidentally step into something sharp. Those are the usual thinking that I have whenever we'll talk about beaches. And you can't really blame me coz I experience it. But this coming Saturday, I'm willing to give the beach another chance. :)

I'm really excited to go and swim.. and because R will gonna join us! :) I don't feel like being there without him. Luckily, he asked his parents yesterday and they agreed. YAY! Luckily as well, the dress that I bought at Chillcat is the right outfit for the event. Here it is..

Nice, right? But it's kinda big for me. I need to alter it. But it's definitely super nice!! ^^

I already have a two-piece, but I wanna use the new one! Unfortunately, I can't find the undies. Those were given to me by my aunt but the undies wasn't included. I'm not sure if it wasn't really included or someone took it. =| I think someone took it! Because it still has price tag and my name on it. Hell. :( So, I'm thinking of buying undies for that swimwear instead. =( Oh well, I need to buy a pair that matches what I have as well. I hate it! :(

Third problem, I want to have bikini wax and UA wax! =) I just bought the latest Cosmo mag and it includes free bikini wax from lay bare. But I'm thinking of Brazilian instead. I haven't really tried it yet.. to any waxing salon. Last year, I tried to shave it (hehehe! I just had my period and it was super itchy!!!) and R was so happy about it. I think he got horny. LOL I just got curious, y'know. But after that, I don't wanna do it again coz when the hair was growing again, it was hella itchy! ~X( Still, I wanna try this one. Since it will be in a waxing salon, they're experts. But I still need to wait for my period to end and they said that I should have the waxing session 3 days before I hit the beach.

Calculating....

I got my period last Wednesday, it stopped yesterday, but this morning, I got "pahabol" period. I just need to cross my finger so that it will stop by tomorrow and I can get the wax on Wednesday. Wish me luck! I hope I got the courage to do this. I really want to! Please....

And I'm thinking to surprise R about it. :") Rawr.

Baby Aliveeeee!!

OH YES! Ever since I wanna have a doll that looks like real. And this Baby Alive? It just sum it all! It do cry, eat and poop! Isn't it just marvelous? Haha! Last month, R and I went to Toy Kingdom to check it out. According to Buttercup, it costs P3,500 since they bought her daughter one. But when we asked Toy Kingdom for one, they're out of stock already! :( Their December stock was all gone last November. They're not sure when this January that they'll be having the doll again. Oh well, I still don't have money for that.. but even though!

And yeah, when we were at the store, we saw another Baby Alive but it just keep on jumping. It's a baby that wanna get out of her playpen. Haha! Cute but not that enough for me. LOL Just jumping? That's it? No way I'm gonna buy that. :P

I just remember about posting Baby Alive because my cousin just posted on my wall that there's Baby Alive in Canada and she remembered that I like to have one. Actually, it's not like.. it's LOOOOVE! I remember how I want a very big teddy bear before. That even though it's pointless or there's nothing that I'll get if I got one, I still want one. I looooong for it for so long. When did I started wanting it? I guess, back in high school and it's just last year that I have one. And hey, Kisses will be turning a year older next month. So, I guess Baby Alive would be like Kisses. I wanted it for so long but I got it even after 4 years or so! I just wish that my dear cousing will buy one for me. Yeah, WISH! I don't think she's gonna buy one for me. I think it's still costly there and she don't have the money yet. Hahaha!

First Day of the Year

You know what they say about first day of the year? That whatever you do on January 1st, that's what you'll be doing for the rest of the year.

Just a recap, what did I do last January 1, 2010? Oh well, I went to my boyfriend's place after my shift, we had a fight and he followed me until he got into the bus with me even though he only have 100 bucks on his pocket. To make up, we went to a motel and you-know-what. Eventually, we had fun and was in good terms when we parted when his parents were looking for him already. Hehe! So for last year, when I look back to it right now, it was more of a kiss and make up thing that happened to us. Oh yes, we have a lot of fights but we were able to make up and fix it all. Of course, that's why we're still together. :P

Going back to the present, yesterday, since it's 3:36 AM already on January 2, what did I do? Hmm.. I went online once I woke up. Read. Clean the room a lil bit. Read again. Wait for boyfriend to come over my place. Ate with boyfriend. Sleeeeeeep with boyfriend. And woke up for dinner. So, for the most part of the day, I was online and slept with boyfriend. Does that suppose to mean that I'll be online and sleeping the whole year? Hahaha! That would be nice.. as long as I'll be with boyfriend for the rest of the year. That's what happened last year, I believe that will happen as well. :D

I'll update you next year what happened for the year 2011.. if I remember to post here. Hahaha!

A Very Long Engagement

It's really a nice movie. Something about hoping and trusting in your instincts. It's funny and cute how she say things that if this will happen, my wish will happen. It makes your hopes high, isn't it?

And yeah, I really waited for boyfriend to come over and have the time to watch it before I watch it. I promised myself that I'll be watching it with him and it was worthy. :) I wonder how many movies will we watch together. I hope... a lot! We're not that into watching movies.. like how his sisters are addicted to. But I hope that this year, we'll be more of movie buffs! Just thinking about it, I remember that The Gulliver's Travel 3D will be showing next week already. I wanna watch it! But.. we need to save for our Star City date next week as well. Hmmm..

Hey, got a trivia for you. Know what? I never been to Star City! Just like I always said, I'm an Enchanted Kingdom baby.. and not Star City! I've been to the former Boom na Boom as well but really not Star City.. even though it's nearer. I don't know. Maybe because of it's open hours? It usually opens on an afternoon til midnight. Unlike EK that opens as early as 10am.

Anyhoo, back to A Very Long Engagement, will I really feel that? That kind of feeling that you do know in your heart if your partner is still alive or not? That if he died, you'll know as well? Maybe it's the connection between you two. I don't know, but maybe I'll feel that as well. Why am I into romantics, lately? Haha! The book that I'm reading, "Around the World in 80 Dates" is about love as well. It's about a girl looking for her soul mate. And due to this, I'm wondering as well. Did I find my soul mate already? Is it my beloved boyfriend? I bet so. I really feel that he's "The One". They said that you'll feel it as well. That there's this connection between you two that you can't hide. That you have the same body language and you two tends to finish each sentences. I don't know if we both have that kind of thing. But I really feel that he's "The One". Please let him be?

Hahaha! I'm becoming such a romantic again.. revolving my world about love. Isn't it just wonderful?

P.S. If you're reading this boyfriend, or if in case you stumble upon this blog of mine again, please always remember that I love you. I really do. :) Kiss me once your done reading this, okay? Just to let me know that you read it. Haha! I'm just wondering when will that be. :)

Happy New Year! :D

Here goes my first post this 2011! Wooohhh! :D
Today is January 1, 2011, in numbers, that would be 1-1-11. Nice, right? :)

And as always, on a new year, we'll never forget, NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!
I know we should always change for the better not only for the spirit of New Year but it gives you more boost to do it right if there's a new year coming.. or a new year came (since it's already the first day of the year). So, for this year, I promise to SAVE! I already started last 28 by putting 500 bucks on my piggy AND I'll continue it the whole year! There's just so many things I wanna do and go for this year that I really need to save. And yeah, for sure, because I have a lot of bills to pay. I feel like an adult already. Sheesh!

And for this year, I hope that my relationship with my boyfriend will blossom.. even more! I want us to be together until the next New Years to come! :D I still wanna experience a lot with him. I really really wanna grow old with him and have kids.. but not this year, okay? Let's just make that clear. Haha. I wish he won't have problems with school as well. That he'll have good grades, enough for him to finish already. I want him to be happy and I want his parents to be happy and go home as soon as he graduates. I don't want him to graduate just because OUR future will be nearer but because I want his family to stay here. I know there might be issues with our relationship once they'll be staying since we'll be lacking more time but at least, they'll be happy, right?

That's it for now. I think I'm getting sleepy again. Ciao!
Happy New Year again my dear blog! :D

Mamang and Papang

My Rich Cousin C. His dad just PMed me in Facebook asking if his son is already here. FYI, his son is here in the Phil since.. I can't remember. But he's on a vacation here. He wants his son to experience life here since they've been living in Canada for a long time already. But hell, all he did was go to places.. and I'm very envious! I hope I can travel like him. I hope I have a lot of money for that!

He's here now, in the Metro, but he was from Visayas.. probably with Mamang and Papang. I hope I was there too! I missed them! :( They were really not my relative but since I got to know them 2-3 summers ago, I became to love them. They're such a lovable couple! And I got to know them because it was their golden anniversary. Amazing, right?

Papang do have Alzheimer's disease. He tends to forget things already and there are times that he cannot remember Mamang but Mamang still takes care of him. You can really see that she do love Papang. And whenever Papang remembers Mamang, you can see how he love her too.

I want that kind of love. I hope I'll have that kind of love. It'll grow until I'm old already and it won't be a hindrance with the love that we have that is so great.

I hope that would be me and boyfriend. =)

Kill me.. NOW.

Huhu.. Can you kill me now? I'm really not feeling well. I hate first days! The only good thing about it is because I was not delayed and I have my period! Psh.

I want a hot compress. I want a massage. I wanna have my period at boyfriend's house. Know why? Because he really takes care of me. He really cares. He really do whatever that can ease the pain. Right now, I just want a hug. I wanna feel like crying. ='(

Oh yeah, here's the time of the month that I can be insecure, irritated easily, release all of my bad moods and such. Is it good? Err. At least I can be pampered as well. I wish. But I hate it that he's not here right now. :(

Blah. Blah. Blah.
Whatever.
Basta.. I just hate this feeling!!!
Can I be absent later?
Can this be an excuse? =D

Sexxxxxy

There are clothes that whenever you wear them, you just feel so sexy, right?

And here's my top 2 pick:

1) Jacket



I wanna wear a jacket, alone. I wanna wear one, with nothing underneath. But of course, I won't be roaming around like go shopping and stuffs - but it sounds cool. Hahaha! I would wanna wear it and go to my boyfriend's place and TA-DAH! Surprise! I'll bet that he'll get hot, just in case. =D

BUT I don't wanna experience the one I saw in a trailer of a movie. The girl went to the boy's pad, say sorry and open her jacket, revealing her nude body. Just to find out that her boy's friend is actually there -- at the living room and saw her body as well. Major boo boo! I don't wanna experience that! That may be the most embarrassing moment.. ever! Just in case it happen to me! =s


2) Skirt



I remember boyfriend saying to me that he wanna go out with me, wearing a skirt and a top, and that's it! He wants me to wear the skirt with no undies! Then, he was planning that we'll watch a movie or stroll. Maybe he thinks it's sexy, and I bet it is. I'm just not that comfortable with the thought. Or let's say, I need to plan it well before I do such. I should do it after my period. Or a week after so that.. insert-gross-things-here. Argh! Just by thinking about it, makes me wanna cover my face in case it'll happen!

Actually, I'm planning to do it later. But I guess, it's a bad idea for now. I still feel hot all over since yesterday! Maybe because my period will be coming already within the day or two that's why my libido is so high. ARGH.


Good luck to me then! I really wish I'll be able to do those things. I'm excited to do that! I already thought what jacket to wear.. plus boots! I already have a perfect skirt for the second one but.. I really need to plan big time for that.

Wish me luck, okay? Ciao!

Imortal

I'm getting addicted.. again! So this is what long weekend do to me, huh? Last time I watched Imortal was last week of November, but since that time until last Friday's episode, I was able to watch it on YouTube. Oha. I'm really addict! And even though I was able to watch it already, I still wanna buy the dvd copy since it's already in the market! And yeah, I still wanna buy the Lobo DVD copy. Hehe! Idk what's with it but I'm really hooked.

I wish there's long vacation at work. Like Summer when you were still studying. I wanna have 1-2 months of not doing anything.. of getting bored of not doing a thing! Then I'll just be doing dvd marathons. Right?

Reminder!

I hope this budgeting thing is not only a spur of the moment thing. Hehe! Anyway, I already created 2 notes about my budget scheme. I already put it at the front door of my cabinet and at the wall beside my bed. Please, help me to fulfill it. =s I wanna keep my budget promise! I don't want to miss anything every pay day. It's really important.

Next stop, to put it on my Starbucks Planner as well. I'm thinking of putting a little note at my purse as well and to my phone. I think I really need to do those for me not to forget my promise.

So help me God.

Budget.. Please!

I'm always really thinking about budgeting but I really don't have skills for that. Even if I take a crash course for that, I don't believe I'll still be able to manage to do it. Good thing boyfriend is good with budgeting. But of course, I'm not always telling him everything when it comes to money. I'm more scared of him being angry with me spending my money for a lot of leisure alone. ARGH!

Okay, let's try budgeting again.
1) I'll be paying 3k tomorrow for the BPI account because I wasn't expecting that I was supposed to pay on the 13th! Tsk. But moving forward, I should be paying 2k every payday. (Check Starbucks planner for the nth payment)

2) Allowance is always 2k. Payday is every 2 weeks, so 1k per week. Stop yourself from buying unnecessary things like books! You still have a lot of books that you're not yet done reading!

3) 1k for DSL and electricity. P500 for DSL every month since Uncle Budz talk to me already that we'll be paying for P500 each for the 1k expense every month. The other P500 goes for Lola, a little help for the DSL electricity that we're costing.

I'm still thinking if I'll be helping with the electricity bill here at home since laptop is costing us more electricity. I'll be thinking of talking to Kuya to ask if he can take part since he's almost always using this laptop. I was just thinking since I'm already allotting 5k for my needs.

I usually have 7k-8k salary. Big thanks if I'll be getting 9k per payday.

4) P500 for savings. Always, always, put P500 for the piggy bank!

I think I'll be needing to put a note at the back of the door for my expenses. For me not to forget about it. So that I'll always be thinking about it.

Okay, I think that's it for my budgeting. There goes my P5,500 from my salary. OUCH!

Expenses.. Expenses.. Expenses!

I already got a look at my pay for this coming Tuesday and it's quite good for a 28th. Almost 8k. (Sshh! That's our secret, okay?) Actually, it was P7,994. Damn P6! Too close for 8k! Haha! Anyway, I don't care about the payslip, really. I wanna have the money already since I have a lot of things to do with that. Or let's say, little, since I have a lot of bills to pay. Sheesh!

Tomorrow, I'll be paying 3k for mom's BPI account. P2075 for this Lenovo laptop and P833 for the automatic washing machine. I know it's quite a lump on my throat but it's still fine since I'm able to use both. Like for this laptop, I was able to complete the Imortal TV series marathon and even though I was done watching it until last Friday's episode, I still wanna buy the DVD copy! Quite an addict, right?

Anyway, there goes my 3k and I still have 5k left. Of course, 2k for my allowance and then, 1k with the gifts for my close workmates. Hmm, I'm thinking of a code name for them! Let's see. Why not use Powerpuff? Ahaha. I remember putting Powerpuff girls at the Freedom Wall at work and then, I put our names there. Blossom would be J. Buttercup would be R and then I'm Bubbles! :D Hey, I forgot the other J - let her be Mojo Jojo. Haha! So, I hope I'll be able to budget 1k for their gifts. Mojo wants a shirt from F&H or Bench that will costs me P300! If only I can budget P500 for them. But it's unfair if I'll just be budgeting P100 each for Blossom and Buttercup, right?



Let's get a recap:
P3k Laptop and Washing Machine
P2k Allowance
P1k Gifts for Powerpuffs

That leaves me with 2k! Can I use it for my date with boyfriend? Err, I'm not sure yet. I still have to pay Mom since I still owe her. What happened with my budgeting before?? I hate it. When will I learn to budget? Care to help me out?

Edit: I forgot! I need to pay for the DSL and I was planning to pay for the electricity. Really, what will happen with my pay? My salary is really not enough for me. :( I hope I'll be a supervisor already even though Mojo said that there will be a change as well with your expenses if you have higher salary. But at least, you'll have higher salary. Right? That's what matters most.

NO to pregnancy!

I still can't remove it from my mind.. that's why I thought about blogging it. I wanna get married, I wanna get pregnant, I wanna have a boy and a girl and a husband.. but not NOW. Idk why I'm thinking about this stuffs but I'm really really really scared right now. Is it because we did not use condom last night? LOL But seriously, I'm really scared.

There's a lot of things that I wanna do with you. There's a lot of places that I wanna go with you, as a couple - boyfriend-girlfriend stuff. I don't wanna deal with problems about our own family stuff yet. I wanna mind about buying things I want for myself, or things I want to buy for you... like your Spalding basketball ball, helicopter with remote that costs 2k and the NERF gun that costs what? 3,5k. I don't want to think yet about how to budget money for milk, diapers and such. I want to mind my budget for out-of-town trips and cool girl stuffs. I still wanna buy toys that I want as a kid, and not toys for MY kids.

These are the things that are just going on my mind right now. And yeah, WTF? Sheeessh. Bye now!

Who want CHANGES?

July just started and the month of June just passed. But obviously, in my life, there are a lot of changes that has been happening. I don't know if I successfully adapted with the situation but I believe that I'm not yet done and over it. I just can't cope with changes that easily. DANG.

Let me just rant all about it...

Lola went to GA

First stop was actually last May --a few days before the end of that specific month. My lola flew to Georgia and she will be staying there for six months. Yeah, luckily, not for good. I really can't imagine my life before without my beloved lola. She's like my Mom to me. She takes care of me a lot especially about my food. My mom can sleep without checking if I ate 3 times a day while my lola will always bug and ask me if I already eat. Hahaha!

I have been independent to her for so long.. like since birth because my mom is working. So I really cried and was super worried when she left us to go to Georgia. :(

But of course, I'm happy that she experienced being with Tito Ric's family. :)



Rai's parents arrived from MD

Oh yeah, gone are the days when I can just go to his place whenever I want.. or mostly, every weekends. It's like my weekend getaway to be at their place and just spending the night with him. Not the day because I'm just sleeping during the day after work. Haha! And yeah, we don't get to see that much often now. Talk about weekends as OFTEN. Psh.

But of course, I'm happy that his parents arrived because I know that he definitely missed them.. especially during special occasions.


My uncle arrived from Puerto Galera

My boyfriend and I's resort for the not-seeing-each-other-days would be by ALWAYS talking over the phone. Yeah, it's already a "session" that we talk whenever I arrive from work (that's during the morning when he don't have school yet) and before I go to work (evenings before he sleep). But now that his parents arrive, 9PM is lights out and we can't talk for so long over the phone. Reason? Parents, of course. My mom also do that to me. It's just that, she's not always around. Bwahaha.

AND since my uncle arrived from Puerto Galera, he occupied Lola's place. Eh, my brother and I was the one occupying that because it has the sala, dining, kitchen, cr and everything already! And yeah, the phone is also there. So, since he arrived, I cannot use the phone anymore. Hah! I don't want to get hurt by him. :P And seriously, after he arrived, I was never able to step on that room. T__T

Actually, we have an extension phone upstairs and that's with my other uncle. But of course, I don't want to bother just to burn the phone lines. Such a disturbance, right?

So, Rai and I can't talk over the phone anymore as often as we want and we can't see each other as much as we would love to. =(

But of course, I'm happy that my uncle is safe because he left us and work in Puerto Galera starting November of last year and there was no communication at all. I even dreamt of him at times and the dream that I always have is his arrival. Hahaha!


Mostly, the changes that occured REALLY affected my relationship with Rai. =( After six months of getting used to the things that you are doing or having, changes is slowly taking it all away. That's why I hate changes. SUCH A HINDRANCE FOR MY HAPPINESS! X_x I know, this month of June was not an easy month for us. There was so many things that happened and I know, I gave so much drama. Hubby, sorry. =( I've been insecured about our relationship and I just can't help it. I'm trying my best to keep our relationship intact despite the distance but fate can't just get enough of giving us challenges. ARGH. I'm just thinking of what you're always saying.. this will not happen forever. Everything will go back to its places again and we will live happily ever after. YEHEYYY! Hahahaha! But seriously, thanks for staying with me. :)



And yeah, there's another change that occurred that is definitely giving me a lot of stress!

"Acting Coach" for Wave 7

I definitely would love to try being a coach but I'm just not ready yet handling new agents. I just can't stand how irrational sometimes, they can be. I would choose handling my group, two teams from Security Freeze, than handling Dispute and the newest wave that we have. ARGGGGGHHH. It's really stressful having them.

And why I was appointed there? There supposed-to-be coach is always absent. Some are already joking that she's making Sitel a part-time job e. She's just showing up like once every two weeks? COME ON. And my boss, the Operations Manager (OM), was the one who appointed me to handle that wave. Oh yeah, I was overwhelmed but... I believe I'm still adjusting, until now. T____T

And hey, awhile ago, my friend ask me on what is my current status on the floor. I told him that I really don't know. I am Line 2 aka L2, Real Time Analyst (RTA) and Siebel Assistant (for sales). All-in-one. DANG. (Salary increase! LOL.) But for now, I am the coach for Wave 7. He told me, he's a QA (Quality Analyst), that they received an e-mail that our OM is asking for an L2 for our department, Security Freeze, and there was a note there that they cannot choose me anymore for I'll be manning wave 7. I don't know if I should be happy because I don't need to handle many people but... I'd rather choose my team rather than wave 7. Hahahaha! I know favoritism, LOL, but I'm just used (gamay) with my team. X___x

I don't know what's happening. I'm just being stressed out with whatever is happening in my life. I want my life during summer... and fast forward to me being a coach. BWAHAHAHA. :P


Oh hell, whatever. This has been a very loooooooooong rant already. Hahaha! I doubt if someone reached the end of this blog. LOL.


Another thing... (Meron pa?)


I'm excited for the coming months... Hehe!

By August, his parents will go back to MD. But his Dad is not yet sure. So, I can get my happy weekends again in their house. :)

By the end of October, before my birthday!!!, Lola will go back here in PH. She told me the last time that we talked that she do have a gift for me. She's actually excited. Haha! I don't know what would that be but of course, I'm not expecting it's a laptop or something techie. My Lola won't be excited because of that. Maybe, it's a dress... something to wear! That's what can excite her. Haha! Waaaaaaaa. I wonder.. Naexcite tuloy ako. Hahahaha!

By November, Tito told us that he will go back to Puerto Galera so... the phone will be back to MY possession. BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

By December, it's my anniversary with Rai. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! =)

That's it. ENOUGH. HAHAHAHA! :P

Late Post: April 10

It's already 9:53 in the morning and I still have no plans of sleeping.. yet. I arrived from work around 8AM and was trying to call him but he's still sleeping. Not much of a big deal.. I just want to hear his voice.. and so I thought.

I don't have a voice as of the moment. Actually, starting last night once I woke up. Not bothered that much because I do know that I have a male voice everytime I woke up so I thought it was normal. Until I'm already at work and my voice is still as low as a male. Darn. My voice makes me money therefore, it is precious. Don't get me wrong. I am no singer. I just really need my voice with my work. Haha!

We were eating "lunch" around 3 in the morning and talking about some stuffs when I felt something between my pants. And there you go, I just blurted out, "Oh my. I think I have my period. I can feel it flowing." Hahaha! What a mouth. =)) So after eating, I went to the other pantry to buy a napkin and there, I really got my period.

Good news or bad news? It's not yet the 14th and I'm not yet expecting it. I was not prepared at the moment but at least, I still got my period. Haha! Something fishy going on? Definitely. :P


Current status: Too lazy to sleep. Misses him badly -- or let's say, CRAVES FOR HIM. Still got my period and experiencing stomach pains. Don't want to go to work later! ARGH.

Random in AM

Being the first means a lot and you can’t just erase that fact. He will always be special to me. But that’s just it. Or that’s just what I want him to be.

**

She’s still pretty as ever. We still care for each other. But that’s just it. I won’t let her to get into my nerves again.

**

I am still craving for Black Forest! I want an



Apple iPhone,

PSP (slim!)

and an iPod vid.


And hey, I still want a Portable DVD.


Grrrr. How I love to buy gadgets. But I can still stop myself from doing so. I should not be spending my money to things I don’t really need.

**

I want to be shower with gifts! Who doesn’t anyway? You should not have asked me if I still want “Tiny” because I still do. I just put it at the back of my mind but I still do want that. Ahaha. I want Tiny with a bouquet of flowers!



Bwahaha. Demanding, eh? But I won’t be expecting. You’re not the type anyway. =P

**

I want to marry you NOW. I want to be with you. I want to spend my nights with you. But that’s a crazy thing to do. We’re still young. Ahaha! And I am not yet ready… financially. Or rather, it’s you that is not yet ready. I want to live a luxurious life. Haha!

**

My confidence is leaving me. I have this feeling that I won’t pass as a coach. I won’t pass my interview or people will still think that I am not yet ready even though I really want to try it. I still don’t know on what I really want in my career life. There are times that I think I can be in the company for as long as I can but then, there are times that I really want to teach but I don’t want to study. Bwahaha.

**

There are times that I think that you don’t deserve me. Times that I think I’m just the one making all of the efforts. But then I can see myself wrong because you are doing what you can… simple things but it really matters. I just don’t want to see it that way. How to learn to expect a little? Or never to expect? Darn.