I'm full!!

I just ate palabok and muffin and darn, I'm so full! And it's also because I just ate rice awhile ago.. around 6 in the morning. Then after that, I slept at work. Hahaha!

It's really nice to have my grandma at home. She always takes care of me.. and all of us! She always prepare food for me. Whenever I ask for food, with just a moment, there will be food already. Don't you just love that?? Oh grandma.. I really don't know if I can last a lifetime without you. You should wait first for the daughters of my siblings before you die. Okay?

Shocks. Now I remember my great grandma. :( She told me that she'll wait for me to graduate in high school and college but she was not able to. :( She's the only person who knows that I want to be a teacher someday.. and she really support me for my dream. Argh. I'm getting teary eye already. I miss you Great grandma! :'(

Moving on.. I'm talking about being full because..... of the food that I just ate! Hahaha! No, seriously, it's more on what I feel inside -- emotionally.

As of now, I feel overwhelmed and full of love. <3 Actually, mi boyfriend and I had a fight yesterday. Or let's say, it's one of my art-e days. I was just feeling blue and so sensitive during that time that I feel like I crave for so much attention.

We were just having our usual talks over the phone.. and then I got irritated. Then I started to talk about me leaving him. Of course he's use to it. I don't actually know if he's still being scared whenever I talk about it. Or if he believes that I will or I might do that someday. I only have a vague idea as of now.. really. And then, I asked on what will he do if I suddenly won't reply to his messages anymore or if I won't be answering his calls. Then he said that he will look for me.. bother me and all so that I will reply or he can talk to me.

And then, being the playful me, wanting for some attention, suddenly said that I don't want him anymore and I started not replying. Haha. BUT... looks like he doesn't care that much. HE JUST SLEPTTTTTTTTTT!!!!! I so hate him that time. I feel like I was not love. :( How can he sleep with us not okay? :( On second thought, he might be uber tired because of his jogging activity that morning. But still.. I did not thought about that yesterday! Bwahaha.

So, being the maart-e me, I was being such a spoiled brat to her. I even cried. T__T I don't know. He can easily make me cry. He's that type. Grrrr. I so love him that he can easily hurt me. :(

And then, last night.. we got to talk about things.. seriously. I told him how I miss the feeling that I am so love by him. I told him that he was not wrong.. it's just that there's something missing.. that kind of love that we had before.

I miss how he wait for me outside the office during Saturdays. How I comfortably sleep beside him even inside the bus! Haha! I just miss those moments. :( I just feel that most of the time, he's not doing much effort already. I don't want to enumerate the things that I did versus the things that he did for me. That would be bad and I am not doing those so that I can have something to tell into his face. It's just that sometimes, I feel tired already always giving and showing him how I love him. Why can't he show me he love me too? The same energy and level on how I show it to him?

And I believe.. I already made that impression to him last night. I just wish that there will be no more Saturday classes for him so that he can go to work again and wait for me to go out. I wish he'll be man enough in our relationship.. Ikaw naman bebebs! Hihi.

I love you still. I really really do. I won't give up on you. Just promise me that everything will be fine and that you'll always stay with me even if the world will fall apart. Will you?